Broken Glass
by Absolutely Arsenic
Summary: 13-year-old Mello has a confession to make. But will it be the start of an intense rivalry?


It was in that moment that Mello felt his hopes shattered.

He stared slack-jawed at the smaller boy, unable to comprehend what had just occurred.

"I… I don't understand," Mello muttered. "Then what…"

"I'm sure you _understand_," Near told him. "I think you just don't _want_ to understand. I'm sorry Mello, but there's really not much that I can do here."

"_Look me in the eye when you say that, damn it!_" Mello hissed, pinning Near against the wall by his wrists. He knew his rival wouldn't scream for help, he was above that. They both were. Two stubborn young men, fighting like animals. No, like _children_ – at least animals fought for survival, these two had no reason other than their emotions.

Emotions. The trait they were both supposed to be above.

Perhaps this is a bit too far in the story.

Mello woke up that day with one plan in mind. A plan that required Near. His stomach was churning too much to eat breakfast, so he skipped it. He regretted this during his classes later, since his stomach was growling while he was trying to focus. But even if he had eaten breakfast, his mind would have been somewhere else. Somewhere with the quiet little genius he'd fallen in love with.

When the lunch bell rang, Mello ran up to his room to grab what he needed. Once he was satisfied with his work, he went outside. He took a chocolate bar with him, and it started to melt in the summer sun. It was a hot day, so hot that the birds had stopped chirping in the trees outside Wammy's. The silence only made him antsier as he waited.

"Hey, Mello!" one of the other boys called. "You gonna play soccer with us?"

"Not today," he said politely, waving them off. "It's too hot to be running around anyway."

"Maybe if you weren't wearing black it wouldn't be so hot," Matt suggested. "You know how black absorbs more light than-"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm perfectly aware of that," he said, cutting his friend off. "But I don't feel like going all the way up to my room to get changed. I'll just sit this one out."

"Suit yourself."

Mello watched as his friends ran off to start their game. Matt had never been good at soccer. He fumbled whenever he got the ball, and barely managed to pass it to his teammates. Mello felt a little embarrassed for him. _We're 13 years old… time to stop tripping over the ball and grow up. _He sighed, supposing that Matt was just at an awkward stage.

Mello took a bite of his chocolate, leaning against one of the trees for shade. _Where is he? I told him I needed to talk to him. Surely he didn't forget… _

The blond boy sighed, trekking across the yard into the building. _I shouldn't have to go looking for him, _he thought, getting nervous. _If he felt the way I do, he'd be searching me out. Maybe this isn't a good idea… no, he probably just got held after class or something._

As Mello opened the door to the common room, he caught Near about to walk out.

"Hey," he said. "Didn't I tell you I wanted to talk to you?"

"Sorry," Near told him, looking down at the book he was holding. "I got a bit caught up in what I was reading."

"You didn't hear the bell for lunch? Ah, no matter. C'mon, I want to talk to you someplace more private."

They headed out to the side of the building, where not many kids ever went. Mello could hear screams and laughter coming from around the corner, but ignored them. Near was twirling a strand of hair between his pale fingers. Mello found himself fixated on the other boy's hand. He wanted to hold it so badly…

"So, Mello? What did you want to discuss?" Near looked genuinely confused, certainly not something he expressed often. Mello was a bit satisfied with the fact that the other felt comfortable enough around him to show some sort of emotion.

He took a deep breath.

"Near. I'm sure you've noticed that I've been acting different around you lately."

"Yes. You've been a bit less belligerent than usual."

"Well… there's a reason for that." He started to wonder if this was the best plan – revealing his feelings without knowing Near's. It made him feel weak suddenly, vulnerable. _But if I just asked him how he felt without telling him how I felt, he'd probably lie even if he did like me in that way. _"Y'see, lately my feelings for you have been changing. I used to just see you as a rival. But now I'm starting to grow fond of you."

"Fond? So you want to be friends?" Near actually looked a bit eager for a moment. "I'm not exactly friendly but-"

"Um… not quite." The shorter boy gave him a slightly sour look at being cut off, and Mello made a mental note to try to stop doing that. "I actually drew something that I hope might explain it a bit… better." He fished the paper out of his pocket, unfolded it, and handed it to Near.

The paper contained an elaborate sketch that had took Mello quite a while to complete. The border was inked in black, with crosses, roses and various swirls and swooping curves. He had meticulously sketched it out with pencil, then used ink from the art room to make it darker. The first time he tried to ink as he drew, and it was a total failure. With this new attempt, he'd managed to finish the border. In the center was a heart etched in deep red. Two stylized letters were contained in the heart: M and N.

Near stared at the paper for a long time. Mello heart his heart pounding in his ears. _He's trying to decide what to say… I can't read his expression any more…_

"I'm sorry, Mello."

And we're back to the beginning – with Mello's heart being shattered like glass.

"Near," he begged as he pushed the boy up against the wall. "Please. I can't… I'm sure that in time you would-"

"Mello, I don't like you in that way," he said, clearly enunciating the words. "It would be better to just forget about being with me. It can't happen, and it won't."

"You can't…" Mello was fighting back tears. _Damn, I can't let him see me like this. _Shame turned to anger quickly. _Shit. Even with me pinning him against the wall, he's still getting the better of me. He's still winning._ _No. I can't let him._

Mello stood straight again, releasing Near.

"Fine," he said, turning his face away so his rival couldn't see his tears. "You don't want to make friends? Then I guess we're going to make enemies."

"I'd be fine with being friends though. Just not more."

"No, you're right. We can't be together. Not in any way." He walked away, head down. He wouldn't come out of his room for the rest of the day.

Mello's heart had always been fragile, like blown glass. Near shattered it that day, however unintentionally. But as glass shards lay out in the sun, they magnify heat. And that's just what happened with Mello. His passion was magnified, though in a different form. What was once sweet sunlight was now concentrated heat, strong enough to kill.

Near watched him go. He wondered if he had made the right decision. _It would never work, _Near told himself. _It's impossible._

Holding back his own tears, he slipped the drawing into his shirt pocket, where it would remain until he hid it in his bedside table that night. He cast a final look at it before bed, wondering about what could have been.

He shut and locked the drawer.


End file.
